So This Is Fat, Is It?

Photo: The Superficial

All this bullshit splattered across the tabloids and gossip sites over the last week with regards to Jessica Simpson’s weight is exactly what makes it so damn hard for us. How the hell am I supposed to feel hot when this babe is being called fat? I happen to think she’s absolutely gorgeous- no matter what size she is at the moment. Forgive a girl for choosing an unflattering outfit, please.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:

Today as I was busting my ass on the elliptical machine at the gym, trying to avoid the guilt I felt for sneaking a cookie after dinner last night…I started thinking. I was looking around at all the other girls working out in that gym; staring into the mirrors, their reflections looking back at them. Were the same feelings of inadequacy going through each of those girls heads? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why don’t we ever feel like we’re good enough?

In the moral order of our media driven society, the definition of what constitutes beauty, or even an acceptable body, seems to become more inaccessible all the time. We live in a universe where you could bounce a quarter off the well toned abs of any celebrity, and magazines are filled with airbrushed photographs of emaciated models with breast implants. We are constantly bombarded with images of Nicole Richie and The Olsen’s among other twenty somethings who look like they need feeding tubes. How is any normal girl supposed to feel attractive or desirable when these ladies set the bar?

The pursuit of beauty has become an obsession for so many. It is an obsession that gnaws at the insecurities of most women; even those who are, by any objective opinion, drop dead gorgeous. Nobody wants to acknowledge that in our sophisticated decade, something as superficial as beauty can propel one person forward and hold another back. Society needs a revolution in its values. Beauty needs to be defined with much broader parameters. We need to avoid being trapped into the suffocating vanity that cuts off oxygen to the brains of so many girls (myself included!)

Beauty is nothing we can ever hold onto, yet we’ve panted after it through the ages, eager to drink it in and swallow it down in huge, hungry gulps- like the very breath of air itself. I’ve realized that if I have to sacrifice having fun and doing things that I enjoy in life to look a certain way, the choice is clear. Living fully and being happy is what life is for. Perfection is an illusion.
And in my experience, many of those who appear perfect to the outside world are merely camouflaging a plethora of imperfections on the inside.

I’ve come to the conclusion that you’ve got to have a healthy relationship with your body if you want to be happy with it. This has been an ongoing struggle for me. I wish I could say that I love and accept myself as I am, but the truth is, I have spent much of my life worrying about how I look and feeling insecure about my body.

We all come in different shapes and sizes, and the grass is always greener on the other side-two cliches that, like most cliches, happen to to be true. We are all different, and we all wish we had something other than what we have. What we women need to do, instead of worrying about what we don’t have, is just love what we do have. Get to know your body. Love it, respect it, treat it right.

Because really…doesn’t the world have more important issues to focus on?



Photo: koelneransichten on Flickr

Sometimes when we close one book in our lives, it allows us the strength and courage to open another. I’m feeling ready to grow again. One of the biggest lessons that I have learned is to make the changes that I want to see. It’s taking the leap of faith and having the guts to actually make a change that can be the tricky part for me. Some of the things that once made me happy have now been causing me a considerable amount of anxiety. I had to recognize this and not allow myself to become stagnant (and miserable). I’m making a solid effort to create the reality that I want to live in for myself.

I don’t think that honesty will ever break you. This is why I have to be honest with myself about what will and will not make me happy. I am someone who perhaps too often leads with my heart. Maybe this is why I keep finding myself trapped in emotional mucky messes, time and time again.

I want to live a life rich in experience. I want to be able to say I’ve done the things I’ve dreamed of doing. I want to always be trying new things, testing the waters, finding out who I am and what is going to make me happy. I have a responsibility not to be afraid of who I am. I wear my heart on my sleeve, I always have. And I have nothing but gratitude for the passionate people who have touched my heart and soul and impacted my life in such a profound way (even if they didn’t turn out to be my future husband). If one lesson has really jumped out at me, it is the importance of living in the moment. Carpe Diem, as they say. Live. Laugh. Love. These are the important things to me right now. It’s a beautiful world…and I have so many discoveries left to make. I can’t fail. I can only succeed at finding what doesn’t work.

I Just Need A Second To Breathe…

Photo: Kay on Flickr

I know, I know…there haven’t been any updates around here for what seems like an eternity. The truth is, there just hasn’t been time for the creative juices to flow. Hell, there hasn’t even been time for me to keep up on my Google reader feeds or do my laundry. I have gone straight from the road, to KNOW? SHOW, and then into “head down order entry” mode. Yes, I’m completely beat. I almost didn’t recognize the haggard face that stared back at me in the mirror this morning.

Something I’ve realized lately…

I really love my apartment. With all the travelling that I’ve been doing over the last year, I’ve really come to appreciate the feeling of home. I love coming home to this little place at the end of a long day.

Updates…soon…I promise. My anxiety over lack of content is starting to kick in HUGE.

Lovely Lady

Photo: Huffington Post

With all of the attention around the inauguration of Barack Obama, did anyone stop to check out how stunning his lady looked today?

Her lemongrass-yellow dress and jacket are by Isabel Toledo, a Cuban-American designer.

There was nothing traditional or remain-in-the-background about Michelle’s outfit. She deliberately did not wear a typical “First Lady” frock. From the sunny, optimistic color to the choice of a dressy, almost evening look, she exuded pride and confidence. Mrs. Obama seems very comfortable in her own skin and completely grounded. I have to admit, the images of her and Barack holding hands and laughing today warmed my heart. Could they be any more adorable? I don’t think so.

Uh-oh…This Could Be Trouble!

After having my ebay cherry popped last week with the purchase of my very own little black heart, I’ve finally gotten with the times and jumped on the “online shopping” bandwagon.

Whether you’re looking for bags or blouses, sweet kicks or super hot dresses, once you sign up for “sale mail,” you’re bound to be hooked. I discovered a website that’s just like having your very own personal shopper, who is always on the lookout for amazing sales on your favourite designer labels, and in your size to boot.

Let me introduce you to Shop It To Me!

There are 500+ brands that are featured (including YSL, Prada, Theory, Marc Jacobs, 7 For All Mankind, Victoria’s Secret and a ton more …)

The service is totally free and so is signing up. All you have to do is go to and create your profile by choosing the brands you like from the list. Then you input your sizes. Shop It To Me will send you a list of items on sale in your size from the brands that you love every week.

Now, how cool is that?

UPDATE: Shop It To Me has been kind enough to include me on their “Trendsetters” page. Check it out and discover a ton of awesome bloggers who love shopping too!